Over 500 men along with their wives and children were forced to look for a fertile place to live because the famine greatly affected their village. The plastic huts are their homes, and so far, have not received any aid. -Xeto, Oromoia Region, Ethiopia
New Year’s Resolution for 2012
I don’t know about you, but I am horrible at keeping my New Year’s resolutions. I mean, sure, I get really into it for the first week or so. But, after that, I completely abandon them. But as we approach 2012, I have started wondering why? Why is it that I can’t follow through with my resolutions? I think i have it figured out. Many of my previous resolutions were created for the WRONG reasons. Here I will insert my new year’s resolutions from 2009. Keep in mind that I was 12:
-lose 20 lbs.
-read 50 books
-practice guitar
-practice piano
-learn japanese
-be more patient with people
-get an A in math for the next two quarters
-have a better relationship with God
-keep my room clean
-try not to be so much like Milto (my sister)
-be an individual
Now, Looking back, I am proud to say that I have achieved some of my resolutions. Not all with 2009, but within the last 3 years. I never picked up the guitar until this year. I quit piano soon after this was written. I have no desire to learn Japanese anymore, because I don’t read Mango anymore. I got an A in math that year….but I got a C+ in Algebra 2 last year, and I now have an A in Statistics, so it’s been a roller coaster with math. I’d like to believe that I consistently clean my room, but I would be lying.
One thing I am SO GLAD I didn’t achieve is losing 20 pounds. In 2009, I was 5”1’ and 120 pounds. Losing 20 pounds, making me 100pounds would have been unhealthy, little did I know that I would grow 4 inches. Now, being 5”5’, if I weighed 100 pounds, that would be beyond unhealthy. But, I clearly remember the insecurity that I had over my weight. All of my friends were 100 pounds or less, and here I was feeling like the elephant in the room. Not to mention, I had acne. I remember feeling so ugly. I wanted that to change. So in order for me to feel beautiful, this is what I needed to do. So I thought.
On one hand, I want to alter my outer appearance to feel beautiful on the inside and out, but on the other hand, I wanted to be closer to God, my Creator God was not going to let me do both. Either I would choose to get to know Him, or live in my discontent of His masterpiece. 2009 was the year I gave my life to God. I went to a private Baptist school all my life, so I knew the Bible and everything, but I didn’t experience God. As I got to know God more, I slowly became more content with my appearance. I am definitely not at the place where I have no insecurities about my looks, and I am not sure if I ever will be, but in the last 3 years. I have leaned that through loving God, I can learn to love myself.
The last 4 years have been the hardest years of my life. I have been repeatedly tested. So many times I wish all the pain and suffering would just end. But it didn’t. I was so used to hearing the miracle stories of people who became a Christian and there life turned around. That wasn’t happening for me. God would not put me through all this pain just for it to magically end when I told him I loved him. No, but he did not leave me hanging. He gave me patience. That is the one tool that I needed to pull through. I have a huge issue with worrying, but I try to always be patient and see what happens next. God gave me that ability.
When I was 12 years old, I really wished I could be like my sister. She had so many friends that she had sleep overs with and she seemed to me, to have the perfect life. At the time she was 14. I always tagged along to all the places she would go, but I never felt accepted by her friends as a friend. I so desperately wanted to have friends to laugh with and spend time with. After entering high school, I made so many friends that I want to know for the rest of my life. People that really care. I also have no desire to be just like my sister. I have become very content with who I am, and our distinct differences and embraced them.
Here are my New Year’s Resolutions for 2012. I might look back on these and think I made these for the wrong reasons, but at least I will know my growth that way:
-Be fit so I don’t get tired from short workouts, but DON’T become skinny.
-study acting seriously
-work on my music. Take it somewhere
-hone in on my skill on the guitar
-live a life pleasing to God
-write in my journal at least once a week
-read my Bible more often, and get even closer to God
